Do You Really Know How to Zoom?
The Only Test You’ll Be Able to Take During the Coronavirus
Whether you’re laughing with friends or connecting with co-workers, Zoom has become the go-to for staying home, together. Are you ready to find out if you’re a power user or a Zoom loser? Give yourself one point for each statement below that applies to you.
Give yourself one point (each) if:
- You know what Zoom is.
- You have joined at least one Zoom call.
- You have Zoom downloaded on more than one device.
- You’ve never been muted by the host for chewing directly into your mic.
- You can switch to “Gallery View” in order to see all of your friends/coworkers awkwardly checking themselves out.
- You always join without audio first in case your spouse decides to inconveniently sing their favorite karaoke song from the shower at the same time.
- You’ve successfully hosted (at least) one virtual happy hour with friends or co-workers without having to restart the call.
- You’ve never shared the “wrong” screen during a work presentation.
- You know the mother of all shortcuts for muting everyone else when you’re the host (hint: Cmd + Ctrl + M). You’re welcome.
- You ponied up $14.99 for the Pro plan so you didn’t have to keep restarting your Jackbox game. You swear it wasn’t because you were losing…
- You know how to mock your friends by making their worst Facebook photo your virtual background.
- You know how to set your Zoom calls to “private” after getting “Zoom bombed” by a group of teens who thought it would be funny to post random dick pics during your morning meeting.
- You purchased a USB ring light to make yourself look less like a gremlin in a dark cave during video meetings for work.
- You know how to split meeting participants into separate, smaller rooms in case your family starts drunkenly arguing over whether or not Ted Cruz really is the Zodiac Killer (hey, just because he was born in 1970 doesn’t mean he couldn’t still somehow kill someone in 1968, right?)
- You managed to automate setting up new video calls using Zapier to connect your calendar app and Zoom and used the time you saved to finally learn what the hell a sourdough starter is (spoiler: it’s just fermented dough with yeast and bacteria…yum).
Now add up all your points
0–5 points: OK Zoomer
Wait, Zoom? What the hell is that? You thought you were being quizzed on your knowledge of a popular exercise fitness program *cough* Zumba *cough.* You barely know how to use a DVD/VCR combo let alone a newfangled video chatting app.
5–10 points: Zoomo Wrestler
You were late to the Zoom game but, like everyone else, a pesky pandemic (i.e. your employer) forced you to become a quick learner. You can manage as long you don’t have to host…or talk…or put on real pants. Lucky for you, you’ve set a low bar with your co-workers so they’re impressed if you manage to join a call without accidentally hitting “Reply All” in Outlook. How does that even happen?
10+ points: Zoom Raider
You know Zoom better than you know yourself, your kids, or your spouse. Speaking of your spouse, you two love it so much, you decided to host your wedding on Zoom…three years ago. That’s right — you forced your friends and family to buy dresses and rent tuxes just to call in for a 20-minute ceremony. Hey, it was convenient as hell (and you wanted to save money on a videographer).
William Frazier is an experience designer, founder, and writer who is productively fumbling his way through a creative career. He’s also on Twitter.
