People You Meet at a Networking Event

They put the “work” in networking.

The Hard Seller

Did you remember to bring enough business cards? They did. In fact, they brought enough for everyone at the event to wallpaper their entire home. Instead of warming up with a little small talk or chit chat, they go right for the jugular like a puma preying on a baby deer with a broken leg. You didn’t catch their name but you know within the first few minutes that their company offers financial planning and someone at your age should consider a healthy mix of short-term and long-term investment strategies and you shouldn’t have more than six months of cash in your checking account. All you asked was “So, what do you do?”

The Startup CEO

Wearing their startup’s branded t-shirt as a suit of armor, this ruthless “visionary” scurries around the event followed by a trail of junior-level employees looking for a technical co-founder. While talking to them, you need a thesaurus just to keep up with all of the tech jargon. You continuously hear them refer to their “minimum viable product,” “key performance indicators,” and “burn rate.” They make it crystal clear their goal is to disrupt the tech industry with a new platform for geolocating preventative tools for sexual health. Wait a second…aren’t they just making an “Uber for condoms?”

The Rookie

They’ve never been to “one of these things before” and they’ll let you know it. Every. Five. Minutes. They tend to follow you around like a lost puppy and piggy-back off every introduction you make with someone else. It doesn’t bother you until people start commenting on how great of a role model you are. Instead of acting like a normal human being and asking what people do and if they like their job, they revert back to college and ask if there are any solo cups and ping pong balls for beer pong. The sad thing is there most definitely are…and you two are up next.

The Self Promoter

It’s no secret everyone wants something at a networking event. Attention. Praise. Free beer. These things mean nothing to the self-proclaimed god among mortals. They make it clear they’re a “business guru” who helps others find meaning and purpose in their…