People You Meet During Covid

They Put the “Rant” in Quarantine

The Anti-Vaxxer

Whether or not you live in a blue state (or a blue bubble in a red state), you’ve been on Facebook, which means you’ve 100% seen their handiwork. Now that bars and restaurants are open again, you can see them in the wild (i.e., yelling at the poor part-time IKEA worker who asked them to please put their mask on while inside the store). In their mind, they’ve held out this long — why give up now and let Bill Gates inject his newfangled 5G microchip into their red-blooded American body? No matter how hard you try to avoid them by shopping at Whole Foods and farmers’ markets, you will inevitably hear their incoherent ranting the one time you give in and grab lunch at Cracker Barrel during your next road trip.

The Conversation Killer

We all knew it would be hard getting back out there and talking to other humans without a computer screen, but this person is a special case. They seem to have forgotten the nuances of verbal communication, such as pausing to let the other person speak, not interrupting, or, you know, asking at least one question so that someone else can participate in this shitshow of a conversation. They spent so much time on Zoom, they forgot there is no “Mute” button in the real world — they just back away…